Oh Gracious Heavenly Father,
I confess to you this morning that I am a whore1. I have run wild, prostituting myself to the world, using and touting Your goods as mine: health, smarts, athleticism, musical talent, knowledge, friends, family, American well-off-ness (even though I complain about being 'poor' as if I knew by experience what that actually means). I have trashed so many of Your good gifts2: 22.5 years' worth of days full of breath3, each with the luxuries of a home, roof, heat, bed, blankets, clothes4 and food, an excellent education, a loving church body. I call mine what you give me: sight to see, ears to hear, a nose to breath/smell (even if it's running more than a fire hose right now), a mind to exercise, money when I need it. In all these I have acted as if I was owed them but had to get them myself, as if I did get them myself but only because I wanted to, as if they were precious stones added to my monument5 of importance, and as if I could decide when and how I used them and for what.
I am that slut. I am that user, that addict. I am that snotty rich kid who doesn't know what hard work is but drives his own beamer, the replacement that 'daddy' got him after he crashed the Mustang. I am that bastard son who took Your valuables and left, drug Your name through the mud by including You in all my gallivanting.
Yet, you continually bailed me out. You paid off my debts6. You let me back in the house and provided a bed with clean sheets, replacing the ones I ... uh ... soiled. You set my favorite dinner in front of me, adopted me, and offered me a new name. You gave me, legitimately, Your riches6&7.
I know that aside from this, Your most gracious of offers, and Your tug8 upon me from within which screams, though muffled and suppressed underneath mounds of bilge, "this is your heritage. This is where you came from. This is what you were made for, how far you've fallen and how much you are loved", apart from that I know I would not be where I am today. I know I would not be what I am today.
'Cuz the truth is, I am recovering from that person I was9.
Thank You, Abba10 God,
...for loving me11.
...for forgiving me12.
...for relentlessly calling mesee 8.
...for Your sacrificial work just to reunite me to You13.
...for making me Your child14.
...for Your tireless work to transform me15.
...for Your Word and Your Son and Your Spirit that reveal Yourself to me and bring me to these understandings16.
I love You.
because of the mercy and grace of Your Son Jesus,
Amen17
1. Ezekiel 16:32; Ezekiel 23; Jeremiah 3:2; Hosea 9:1; Matthew 12:39 to name a few. Adultery and harlotry are huge, often very graphic Biblical illustrations of our sin against God.
2. James 1:17
3. Acts 17:25
4. Matthew 6:28-30
5. see Christian rock artist Showbread's concept-double-album project Anorexia-Nervosa. In the story, a character lives a works-based life and is allegorized by a person building a monument to herself/of her accomplishments. Very powerful! Incredible plot twist at the end that goes to show the futility of such an endeavor. I recommend it to a mature, discerning audience who can handle incredibly intense rock music. *Note that I said handle, not like. Even if you don't like hardcore rock, I would still recommend the project for a one-time listen. The story is that powerful and important. *Note: some very mature content.
6. Christ's substitutionary death literally payed for that which we could not: Isaiah 55:1; Mark 10:45, ransom = payment of price owed; Romans 6:23, sin has a "wage" or payment which Christ paid; Ephesians 1:7, redemption = buying back; I John 2:2, propitiation = satisfaction of debt owed from sin.
7. Psalm 112:3 and I am in the 'household of God'; Proverbs 22:4; Romans 9:23; 10:12; Ephesians 1:18; 2:7; 3:8, 16; Philippians 4:19; Colossians 1:27; 2:2; I Timothy 6:17
8. or "drawing" or "call" John 12:32; Ephesians 1; II Timothy 1:9; II Peter 1:3;
9. I Corinthians 6:9-11
10. Romans 8:15
11. John 3:16; I John 4:19
12. I John 1:9
13. Romans 8:32
14. John 1:12 see also link on adoption.
15. Isaiah 64:8; Lamentations 4:2; Philippians 1:6
16. John 1, 16:8; II Timothy 3:16-17 Hebrews 4:12;
17. It was time spent in Luke 15:11-32 that started this ball rolling this morning.
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